yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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