What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
