question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
