the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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