I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
