when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
