just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
