i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
