im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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