Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
