I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Randomize
