i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Randomize
