why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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