Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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