I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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