I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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