...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
