bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
