Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
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