fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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