I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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