I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize