erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
