you have to choose: penises or morals?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
