Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
