Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
