do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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