Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize