Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
