she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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