They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
He told me they were just razor bumps!
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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