i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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