She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
