I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
