google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Randomize
