This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
