So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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