hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?