i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
