Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Quick, to the slutcave!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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