You're a womanizer and a bitch.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
