also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
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