I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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