too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
