If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
