and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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