would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Is it penis luge time yet?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
