You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
