I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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