mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
