Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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