I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
