I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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