i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
