apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize