I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
i out mim tonsoeep
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