apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
