She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Tornado booty call.. dedication
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
