i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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