trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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